To be a fly on the wall in the offices of Uganda’s politicians when they dream up some of their laws. What have they done now, you ask? Well, they’ve only gone and passed a contentious bill that will ban miniskirts, cleavages, or anything that can “seduce men or put them into temptation”…their words, not mine.
This type of outlandish bill isn’t totally new to Uganda. I think Idi Amin once banned miniskirts too during his reign. If you don’t know who Idi Amin was, google him. Charming fella. As for Uganda’s laws, they aren’t totally new to this blog either. Remember this post: We got 99 problems but gays aint one? Well this time they’ve put together what they call the “anti-pornography bill”, a piece of legislation that outlaws overtly sexual material including magazines and music videos.
So how will this new anti-pornography bill work? Well, it will basically outlaw any material or clothing which shows parts of the body including breasts, thighs and buttocks, or any erotic behaviour intended to cause “sexual excitement”. The other day I saw one Ugandan politician on the news defending this “ground-breaking” bill (I wish someone would invent a sarcasm font) by saying it will help reduce rape crimes. Personally, I’m not too sure. The way I see it, banning miniskirts to curb rape crimes seems a bit like banning food to curb obesity, or banning cars to curb drinking driving. But hey, what do I know?
When I first heard about this proposed law, a few questions came to mind:
1. If the bill is supposed to ban “any material or erotic behaviour which shows parts of the body intended to cause sexual excitement”, why doesn’t it ban men from wearing shorts or vests? Coz I’m pretty sure there are hoards of women who experience “sexual excitement” when they encounter a man’s legs or arms when he’s donning shorts or a vest. No?
2. What the hell are Ugandan women going to do with all their supposedly slutty clothes? I mean, can you imagine a wardrobe full of clothes that are suddenly illegal to wear?
3. Are bikinis banned too? Coz I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who thinks bikinis cause “sexual excitement”. How will Ugandan women swim? In tracksuits?
4. What about sports? Have you seen the Olympics? Athletes there wear super tight body hugging apparel that I’m sure can “seduce men or put them into temptation”. What are Ugandan female athletes going to compete in now? Trench coats?
Look at me asking silly questions. I’m sure they’ve thought about all this. After all, they are politicians.
*just scribbling my miniskirt thoughts*