A great response to the “homosexuality is an abomination to God” argument

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

5 comments on “A great response to the “homosexuality is an abomination to God” argument

  1. I found your blog thanks to wordpress’ “blogs you might like” section, and I’m glad I did. I laughed out loud a couple times during this post and have been enjoying your previous entries!

    Like

    • ImTawanda says:

      Hello there. That’s great how you found me. I’ll be sure to pay the good folks at WordPress a small commission for their efforts.🙂

      Thanks for reading my random thoughts.

      Like

  2. Frik Roets says:

    It is sad, If the Jim knew his bible he would have know that with the coming of Christ the old laws fall away(Read Rom. and Gal.) and it does not help to only try to abide by these laws. What will save you is to believe in God and Jesus as your savior. All of the comandments is held in one comandment Mat:22 vers 37-40. All of the 10 comandment is in this one comandment. You will not kill because you dont want to be killed, you will not steal because you don’t like it if someone steals from you.

    But there is some of the old testament laws that is repeated in the new testament and one is the the law regarding gay. In Rom.1 vers18-32. It is a sin as any other. God gives us the choice. Just as murder, sex before marrige and any other.

    Sadly Jim has heard the truth and can not say he did not know and will one day before God have to expail as we all will have to.

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  3. Bossk says:

    What a great reposte by Jim. Selective quoting of the scriptures to suit a homophobic agenda is an abomination.

    Like

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