Where is Mandela? 10 places you should look.

Now you see me...now you don't...

Now you see me…now you don’t…

So, in case you live underneath a rock below another rock, you’ll know that South Africa’s knight in shining armour President Nelson Mandela was hospitalised with an on-going lung infection almost a week ago now. According to media reports here in SA and abroad, uTata Mandela as he’s affectionately known, was being treated at 1 Military Hospital in Pretoria. The heavy presence of police suggested this was the case.

But yesterday, in true Houdini fashion, it emerged that the great man after whom every place, bridge, square, city, and street are named after, wasn’t actually in 1 Military at all. Now would be a good time to observe a moment of silence for all the media that had made the outside grounds of 1 Military Hospital their home for the past few days, sending us live pictures of…well…a Mandela-less hospital.

So after all the fun and games of Mandela’s bait and switch…which was done quite well, so kudos to the government…I guess the question remains…where is Nelson Mandela? Well, I’ve compiled a list of places I think he’s at. These are places I’d hide him if I was personally tasked with that job; basically 10 places I know people would never look.

1) Robben Island – don’t under estimate the power of nostalgia

2) The Library – when was the last time you were in your public library? Honestly. Well you might want to go there now. Look under ‘L’ for Lung Infection.

3) At an L-Tido concert – if you’re 94 and just want some peace and quiet, there’s no better place than this. I don’t think L-Tido himself even goes to these

4) Within the finances of the Eastern Cape government – it’s a mess in there. No one would be able to find him. That said, everything in there is negative so probably not advisable for a frail old man

5) In an e-toll e-tags office/outlet – bet you haven’t been there have you?

6) At any house whose oldest child is a “born free” – the whole family is probably out watching The Parlotones or something like that

7) At any Rhino park – these are fast becoming THE quiet empty places to relax

8) Khulubuse Zuma’s pantry – another quiet empty place to relax. If he’s not here, X-ray Khulubuse’s stomach

9) On any 1time aircraft – I know presidents fly SAA but on this 1time, I think he’ll settle for 1time.

10) Limpopo – the conspiracy theorists among us will have you believe “the real Mandela” passed away a long time ago. So where better to look than Limpopo? While you’re there, check also for Tupac and Khulekani Mgqumeni Khumalo.

Yes folks, forget hospitals. Go camp outside these places. Tata is in one of them. Trust me…even though I’m just *scribbling my thoughts*

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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