I’m sure you’ve seen him before; clothes pressed, hair combed, necktie in that Windsor knot, nails manicured…oh, and a sign written in fluent Afrikaans. Yes, it’s the white beggar…or as I like to call him…a waste of white skin!
I drove past him again today and I always have the urge to have a chat with him. It’s like that giant red button signed DO NOT PUSH…you know that urge you have every time you walk past it? The urge to just push it? That’s it. I didn’t push it again today. Instead I thought I’d do the next best thing and write him a blog post. So here it is:
Dear White Beggar,
Let me start by getting the obvious out of the way first…you know you’re white right? Okay, just wanted to make sure.
Second order of business…why are you so broke?
Between 1881 and 1914, European powers (who incidentally were white men like you) set about invading, occupying, colonising, and annexing African land that belonged to people who looked like me…”non-whites” as you like to refer to me as. What were your forefathers doing during all this? They didn’t think to at least grab a few chunks of gold?
I mean I know why I’m broke. My forefathers had all their wealth molested by yours. It sucks but I guess it is what it is now. I have to start from zero but why are you in life’s overdraft?
Even as the decolonisation of Africa began and took its course, your forefathers kept all the wealth they had taken. They even formalised the ownership of their booty with title deeds, bank notes, etc. Meanwhile my forefathers were left with empty victories and truckloads of bibles. The land and minerals were all yours and you had “documentation” to prove it. What were your forefathers doing during all this? Unless all they wanted from Africa was some “big booty hoes”? But what use is a hoe if you have no land? 🙂
From 1948 to 1994, South Africa was an apartheid state. Your dad and his dad could go wherever and do whatever they wanted. They could get whatever jobs they wanted. You think Black Economic Empowerment (BEE) is bad? You’re truly deluded. Apartheid was the purest form of White Economic Empowerment (WEE). In fact, all your white lineage has done to Africa for hundreds of years can be filed categorically under WEE. So I ask you again…what were YOUR forefathers doing during all this?
I’ve been to school and university with some seriously dumb ass white people and they have way way better jobs than me. Even with the imaginary “BEE barrier” they have to supposedly contend with. What’s your excuse? I tell you what, I’ll give you the “wheel chair” you’re asking for and you give me your skin. I’ll be back next week with 50 wheel chairs and the keys to the De Beers safe.
Anyway, credit where it’s due, you do look very smart. And the way you still turn up your nose at black folk? Very impressive. I mean, the least you could do is write your begging brief in English. ‘Cause you’re dressed so smart I don’t know if you’re begging or you’re Jehovah’s Witness…though your alcohol breath kind of gives you away.
*just scribbling my thoughts*