For those of you who follow American politics, you’ll know that tonight U.S. President Barack Obama and his challenger, Massachusetts Governor Willard Mitt Romney, head into their 3rd and final debate before this year’s fast looming U.S. presidential elections.
America has always had a way of attracting the world’s attention. From the WORLD Series of sports that only America competes in, to global favourites like WWE – the presidential debates are no different. A lot of us stay up till ridiculous hours of the morning just to watch two guys having a chat. I don’t know how those Americans do it, but I do love to watch it…though I sometimes think WWE should stand for World Wracist Entertainment…can we get some black champions please?!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, tonight’s presidential debate. Experts say tonight is a make-or-break moment as the two candidates are currently in a race as tight as a Jew…too racist? Okay, as tight as a virgin…no? Too crude? Argh, you get the point: the race is close.
This final debate represents one of the last major opportunities for Obamaloney and Romnesia to capture the attention of millions of voters; particularly that small but crucial group of as yet undecided voters (decide already…it’s just two of ’em). With two weeks left to the November 6 election, the two candidates will be arguing international affairs as Foreign Policy is tonight’s area of debate. Not at all coincidentally, it is also my blog topic for today.
When you’re Team America: World Police, foreign policy is a somewhat important area of discussion. Throw in the recent deadly attack on the U.S. Consulate in Libya, and you’ll want to watch tonight’s debate.
But what I really want to know (which won’t be answered tonight) is: if Romney becomes U.S. President, are there any “infidels” left out there to kill?
Former Deceiver-in-chief George W. Bush started what seems to have become a trend for American leaders: “pin the tail on the infidel…and kill him”. In 2003 Bush popped into Iraq, grabbed their president Saddam Hussein and, three years later, hanged him on national TV. Very gangster Herr Bush!
But that was nothing as Mr Hussein would return to outgun George Bush…no, not Saddam Hussein, I’m talking about Barack Hussein Obama. Yes, President Obama killed not one, but two “infidels”…both in his first term. Suck on that George!
First he got the Donald Trump of al-Qaeda Inc., Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden (try putting that on a welfare application form…47% of you know what I mean right?). Less than six months later, he’d popped into Libya, grabbed their president Muammar Gaddafi, and put a bullet in him at point blank range.
Poor Gaddafi. His only mistake was to export as much oil per capita as Saudi Arabia and implement numerous innovative welfare programs that led to Libya achieving the highest living standards in Africa. He also made sure Libya was debt-free. All of this whilst the U.S. fights with over US$15 TRILLION of debt…that’s fifteen million millions of debt dollars…lots of zeros.
Ultimately, Colonel Gaddafi was just a guy trying to keep his people fed in a world that enjoys seeing failing African states and malnourished black babies with flies breeding on the faces. But we all know where good non-white leaders end up…on the CIA’s wall of fame. We C U CIA!
With all that said, Obama holds the current championship belt/ring in the “Kill the Infidel” World Series. Question is: Who’s left for Romney to kill if he becomes president of the United States in the next few weeks? I’m going to do a roll call and if your name is called, you might want to keep one eye on the U.S. elections and a packed overnight bag by the door….just in case.
1) If your name is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and you are president of a country that likes to make nuclear sausages, then I suggest you RUUUUN!!!!!
2) If your friends affectionately call you Kim Dong-un and you’re not the supreme leader of South Korea, then I suggest you RUUUUN!!!!!
3) If in bed your wife lovingly refers to you as Bash ala Ass hard, then I suggest you RUN Bash RUUUUN!!!
Yep, that’s my top 3. What do you think Mitt? You like? Great! Now we pull out our couches, get out our popcorn, and watch as “Team America: Defender of Democracy” delivers us from evil.
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